These jokes are of an unknown origin. Feel free to submit corrections or add to the list. I will edit when possible, to improve the flow and correct errors.
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Friday, November 16, 2007
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
I thought this funny. It is about ten years old. I first posted the audio at
Helium was up, feathers were down.
Paper was stationary.
Fluorescent tubing was dimmed in light trading.
Knives were up sharply.
Cows steered into a bull market.
Pencils lost a few points.
Hiking equipment was trailing.
Elevators rose, while escalators continued their slow decline.
Weights were up in heavy trading.
Light switches were off.
Mining equipment hit rock bottom.
Diapers remained unchanged.
Shipping lines stayed at an even keel.
The market for raisins dried up.
Coca Cola fizzled.
Caterpillar stock inched up a bit.
Sun peaked at midday.
Balloon prices were inflated.
Scott Tissue touched a new bottom.
And batteries exploded in an attempt to recharge the market.
3 new bonds are being issued:
* Lewinsky bond: Has no maturity
* Gore bond: Has no interest
* Clinton bond: Has no principle.
To participate is very easy, just open the attached photo, correctly
answer the following questions and send your answers to the
International Olympic Committee:
1. Which student seems to appear tired/sleepy?
2. Which ones are male twins?
3. Which ones are the female twins?
4. How many women are in the group?
5. Which one is the teacher?
Friday, August 17, 2007
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Monday, July 02, 2007
Sunday, July 01, 2007
- I'm author of History in a Year by the Conservative Voice aka History of the World in a Year by the Conservative Voice.I'm the Conservative Voice.I'm looking to make contact with those who might use my skill.
I have an m-audio mobile pre amp fed by the audiotechnica 2041sp condensor mic pack. Prior to 15/4/06, I'd used a Shure sm-58 that required a nuclear blast to register a sound or the internal mic of my aged imac, which has a penchance to recording my breathing. I also used a Griffin itrip, until the community convinced me it was not hiding my talent as well as the other mics.
I am a Writer and an occasional Math Teacher (Sir, what's the occasion?). I like to sing, having no instrumental talent (cannot even clap in time, and yes, I'm aware singing badly IS obnoxious).
I have performed the finale to Les Miserables before an audience of 500. I have also sung before a similar audience (students, parents) renditions of 'I Will' (Beatles), 'Mr Cairo' (Jon Vangelis) and 'I am Australian' (Seekers). Now I seek another profession because the audience hates me ..
Ignore my politics, the media does
- ► 2009 (53)
- ► 2008 (13)
- ► November (5)
- The End of Despair
- Good Luck Mr Gorsky
- Fat Old Hugh Grant
- Irate Parent at School Musical
- Don't Wanna Be Luvvd By You
- A Jackson Farewell to Saddam Hussein
- I'm A Sociopath
- Puppy Love
- Puppy Power
- Puppy pup
- Cute Puppy with message
- An Australian Joke, too
- Happy Face Math
- etude fonction
- Lol Cats
- Oh Hai I In the news
- ► 2005 (82)