These jokes are of an unknown origin. Feel free to submit corrections or add to the list. I will edit when possible, to improve the flow and correct errors.

Sunday, February 05, 2012

Italian Police, German Driver

Five Germans in an Audi Quattro arrive at the Italian border.


> The Italian customs officer stops them and tells them :

> "Itsa illegala to putta 5 people in a Quattro!"


> Vot do you mean, it's illegal?" asks the German driver.


> "Quattro means four!" replies the Italian official.

> "Quattro iz just ze name of ze fokken automobile" the Germans

>retort unbelievingly.

>"Look at ze dam paperz : Ze car is dezigned to carry 5 people!"


> "You canta pulla thata one on me!" replies the Italian customs officer.


> "Quattro meansa four. You havea five-a people ina your

> car and you are therefore breaking the law!"


> The German replies angrily " You ideeiot! Call ze zupervizor

>over Schnell! I vant to spik to zumvun viz more intelligence!!!"


> "Sorry" respondes the Italian, "He canta comea ...

> He'sa buzy witha two guys in a Fiat Uno."

About Me

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I'm author of History in a Year by the Conservative Voice aka History of the World in a Year by the Conservative Voice.

I'm the Conservative Voice. 

I'm looking to make contact with those who might use my skill. 

I have an m-audio mobile pre amp fed by the audiotechnica 2041sp condensor mic pack. Prior to 15/4/06, I'd used a Shure sm-58 that required a nuclear blast to register a sound or the internal mic of my aged imac, which has a penchance to recording my breathing. I also used a Griffin itrip, until the community convinced me it was not hiding my talent as well as the other mics.

I am a Writer and an occasional Math Teacher (Sir, what's the occasion?). I like to sing, having no instrumental talent (cannot even clap in time, and yes, I'm aware singing badly IS obnoxious). 

I have performed the finale to Les Miserables before an audience of 500. I have also sung before a similar audience (students, parents) renditions of 'I Will' (Beatles), 'Mr Cairo' (Jon Vangelis) and 'I am Australian' (Seekers). Now I seek another profession because the audience hates me ..

Ignore my politics, the media does