Translator

These jokes are of an unknown origin. Feel free to submit corrections or add to the list. I will edit when possible, to improve the flow and correct errors.

Saturday, September 28, 2019

Replacement Priest via DFK

THE REPLACEMENT PRIEST
A priest was called away for an emergency. Not wanting to leave the confessional unattended, he called his rabbi friend from across the street and asked him to cover for him.
The rabbi told him he wouldn't know what to say, but the priest told him to come on over and he'd stay with him for a little bit and show him what to do.
The rabbi comes, and he and the priest are in the confessional.
After a few minutes, a woman enters and says, "Father forgive me for I have sinned."
The priest asks "What did you do ?"
The woman says, "I committed adultery."
Priest: "How many times ?"
Woman: "Three times."
Priest: "Say two Hail Mary's, put $5 in the box and go and sin no more."
A few minutes later a man enters the confessional. He says "Father forgive me for I have sinned."
Priest: "What did you do ?"
Man: "I committed adultery."
Priest: “How many times ?"
Man: "Three times."
Priest: "Say two Hail Mary's put $5 in the box and go and sin no more."
The rabbi tells the priest that he thinks he's got it, so the priest leaves.
A few minutes later another woman enters and says "Father forgive me for I have sinned."
Rabbi: "What did you do ?"
Woman: "I committed adultery."
Rabbi: "How many times ?"
Woman: "Once."
Rabbi: "Go do it two more times, then come and see me. We have a special this week, three for $5."