Subject: SCOTTISH COMPASSION

A man is sitting on a blanket at the beach.
He has no arms and no legs.
Three women, from England, Wales, and Scotland,
Walk past and felt sorry for the poor man.

The English woman said "Have you ever had a hug?"
The man said "No," so she gave him a hug and walked on.

The Welsh woman said, "Have you ever had a kiss?"
The man said, "No," so she gave him a kiss and walked on.

The Scottish woman asked, "'ave ya ever been f****d laddie?"
The man broke into a big smile and said, "No".

She said, "Aye, well ya will be when the tide comes in."

.. from DK

DFK on Oscar Pistorius

Anyone making jokes about Oscar Pistorius is just prosthetic !

... She didn’t notice Oscar sneaking up behind her. It was the silence of the limbs

... Too many Oscar Pistorius jokes already. Trying to come up with a new one is like taking a shot in the dark

... I hope he can foot the bill. It does not look like he has a leg to stand on.

...Rumour has it that his girlfriend gave him a pair of socks on Valentines Day and he lost it right there and then.

... Oscar clearly misunderstood when his girlfriend told him that on Valentine’s Day he had to take her out

... New evidence has been found outside the Pistorius home that completely acquits him of his girlfriend’s murder……………. Footprints !!!