Bernie Sanders has a heart attack and dies. Obviously, he goes to hell where the devil is waiting for him.
"I'm not sure what to do," says the devil. "You're on my list but I have no room for you. You definitely have to stay here, so I'm going to have to let someone else go. I've got three folks here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll even let you decide who leaves." Bernie thought that sounded pretty good, so he agreed.
The devil opened the first room. In it was Harry Truman and a large industrial coal furnace powering a Japanese Restaraunt. He kept shovelling in and checking steam pressure, over and over. Such was his fate in hell. "No!" Bernie said. "I don't think so. I'm not good with hot tasks and don't think that task appropriate for me."
The devil led him to the next room. In it was Tony Blair with a sledge hammer and a room full of rocks with the faces of his labor parlaimentarians. All he did was swing the hammer, time after time. "No!" I've got the support of my own party. I don't think this task is appropriate for me." commented Bernie.
The devil opened a third door. In it, Bernie saw Bill Clinton lying on the floor with his arms staked over his head, and his legs staked in spread-eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she did best. Bernie Sanders looked at this in disbelief for a while and finally said, "Yeah, I can handle this."
The devil smiled and said, "Ok, Monica, you're free to go!"
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
Friday, December 02, 2005
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