Translator

These jokes are of an unknown origin. Feel free to submit corrections or add to the list. I will edit when possible, to improve the flow and correct errors.

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Bernie Sanders Dies

Bernie Sanders has a heart attack and dies. Obviously, he goes to hell where the devil is waiting for him.

"I'm not sure what to do," says the devil. "You're on my list but I have no room for you. You definitely have to stay here, so I'm going to have to let someone else go. I've got three folks here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll even let you decide who leaves." Bernie thought that sounded pretty good, so he agreed.

The devil opened the first room. In it was Harry Truman and a large industrial coal furnace powering a Japanese Restaraunt. He kept shovelling in and checking steam pressure, over and over. Such was his fate in hell. "No!" Bernie said. "I don't think so. I'm not good with hot tasks and don't think that task appropriate for me."

The devil led him to the next room. In it was Tony Blair with a sledge hammer and a room full of rocks with the faces of his labor parlaimentarians. All he did was swing the hammer, time after time. "No!" I've got the support of my own party. I don't think this task is appropriate for me." commented Bernie.

The devil opened a third door. In it, Bernie saw Bill Clinton lying on the floor with his arms staked over his head, and his legs staked in spread-eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she did best. Bernie Sanders looked at this in disbelief for a while and finally said, "Yeah, I can handle this."

The devil smiled and said, "Ok, Monica, you're free to go!"

About Me

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I'm author of History in a Year by the Conservative Voice aka History of the World in a Year by the Conservative Voice.

I'm the Conservative Voice. 

I'm looking to make contact with those who might use my skill. 

I have an m-audio mobile pre amp fed by the audiotechnica 2041sp condensor mic pack. Prior to 15/4/06, I'd used a Shure sm-58 that required a nuclear blast to register a sound or the internal mic of my aged imac, which has a penchance to recording my breathing. I also used a Griffin itrip, until the community convinced me it was not hiding my talent as well as the other mics.

I am a Writer and an occasional Math Teacher (Sir, what's the occasion?). I like to sing, having no instrumental talent (cannot even clap in time, and yes, I'm aware singing badly IS obnoxious). 

I have performed the finale to Les Miserables before an audience of 500. I have also sung before a similar audience (students, parents) renditions of 'I Will' (Beatles), 'Mr Cairo' (Jon Vangelis) and 'I am Australian' (Seekers). Now I seek another profession because the audience hates me ..

Ignore my politics, the media does