These jokes are of an unknown origin. Feel free to submit corrections or add to the list. I will edit when possible, to improve the flow and correct errors.

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

School Didn't Accept Dr's Sick Note

David has difficulty swallowing tyres easily.
The patient is 72 years old. His mother is also elederly.
The patient was a 62 yo woman at a flea market when she developed severe itching.
Fetus is female, no other gross abnormalities shown.
Patient states he is in good health, except for his illness.
Since patient stopped smoking, smell is beginning to return.
She is quite hard of hearing, in fact she cannot hear at all out of her left eye.
Sinuses run in the family.
He was advised to force fluids through his interpreter.

About Me

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I'm author of History in a Year by the Conservative Voice aka History of the World in a Year by the Conservative Voice.

I'm the Conservative Voice. 

I'm looking to make contact with those who might use my skill. 

I have an m-audio mobile pre amp fed by the audiotechnica 2041sp condensor mic pack. Prior to 15/4/06, I'd used a Shure sm-58 that required a nuclear blast to register a sound or the internal mic of my aged imac, which has a penchance to recording my breathing. I also used a Griffin itrip, until the community convinced me it was not hiding my talent as well as the other mics.

I am a Writer and an occasional Math Teacher (Sir, what's the occasion?). I like to sing, having no instrumental talent (cannot even clap in time, and yes, I'm aware singing badly IS obnoxious). 

I have performed the finale to Les Miserables before an audience of 500. I have also sung before a similar audience (students, parents) renditions of 'I Will' (Beatles), 'Mr Cairo' (Jon Vangelis) and 'I am Australian' (Seekers). Now I seek another profession because the audience hates me ..

Ignore my politics, the media does 

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