Translator

These jokes are of an unknown origin. Feel free to submit corrections or add to the list. I will edit when possible, to improve the flow and correct errors.

Sunday, November 04, 2012

Circle flies

A stockman from North Queensland attends a social function where Prime Minister Julia is speechifying.

Clearly the stockman was not paying much attention, yackking with those closest and even quite far away.

Julia endeavoured to attract his interest with slower single syllable words.

As she was doing that, she kept swatting at some flies that were buzzing around her head.

The stockman says, "Yer havin' some problem with them circle flies?"

Julia stopped talking and said, "Well, yes, if that's what they're called, but I've never heard of circle flies."

"Well ma'am," the stockman replies, "Circle flies hang around these parts a lot. They're called circle flies because they're almost always found circling around the back end of a horse."

"Oh," Julia replies and resumes rambling.

But, a moment later she stops and bluntly asks, "Are you calling me a horse's arse?"

"No, ma'am," the stockman replies, "I have too much respect for the citizens of this country to call their Prime Minister a horse's arse."

"Thank you for that respectful explanation," Julia responds and resumes rambling once more.

And the stockman adds slowly ...

"Hard to fool them flies, though."

About Me

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I'm author of History in a Year by the Conservative Voice aka History of the World in a Year by the Conservative Voice.

I'm the Conservative Voice. 

I'm looking to make contact with those who might use my skill. 

I have an m-audio mobile pre amp fed by the audiotechnica 2041sp condensor mic pack. Prior to 15/4/06, I'd used a Shure sm-58 that required a nuclear blast to register a sound or the internal mic of my aged imac, which has a penchance to recording my breathing. I also used a Griffin itrip, until the community convinced me it was not hiding my talent as well as the other mics.

I am a Writer and an occasional Math Teacher (Sir, what's the occasion?). I like to sing, having no instrumental talent (cannot even clap in time, and yes, I'm aware singing badly IS obnoxious). 

I have performed the finale to Les Miserables before an audience of 500. I have also sung before a similar audience (students, parents) renditions of 'I Will' (Beatles), 'Mr Cairo' (Jon Vangelis) and 'I am Australian' (Seekers). Now I seek another profession because the audience hates me ..

Ignore my politics, the media does