Translator

These jokes are of an unknown origin. Feel free to submit corrections or add to the list. I will edit when possible, to improve the flow and correct errors.

Sunday, November 04, 2012

Last rites

In Washington DC an old priest lay dying in the hospital. For years he had faithfully served the people of the nation's capital. He motioned for his nurse to come near.

"Yes, Father?" said the nurse.

"I would really like to see the President and the Secretary of State before I die", whispered the priest.

"I'll see what I can do, Father", replied the nurse.

The nurse sent the request to The Whi
te House and waited for a response.

Soon the word arrived; President Barack Obama and Secretary of State Hilary Clinton would be delighted to visit the priest.

As they went to the hospital, Barack commented to Hilary , "I don't know why the old priest wants to see us, but it will certainly help our images and might even get me re-elected President. After all, I'm IN IT TO WIN IT". Hilary agreed that it was a good thing.

When they arrived at the priest's room, the priest took Barack's hand in his right hand and Hilary's hand in his left.

There was silence and a look of serenity on the old priest's face.

Finally Barack Obama spoke. "Father, of all the people you could have chosen, why did you choose us to be with you as you near the end?"

The old priest slowly replied, "I have always tried to pattern my life after our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ."

"Amen", said Hilary. "Amen", said Barack .

The old priest continued, "Jesus died between two lying thieves; I would like to do the same."

About Me

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I'm author of History in a Year by the Conservative Voice aka History of the World in a Year by the Conservative Voice.

I'm the Conservative Voice. 

I'm looking to make contact with those who might use my skill. 

I have an m-audio mobile pre amp fed by the audiotechnica 2041sp condensor mic pack. Prior to 15/4/06, I'd used a Shure sm-58 that required a nuclear blast to register a sound or the internal mic of my aged imac, which has a penchance to recording my breathing. I also used a Griffin itrip, until the community convinced me it was not hiding my talent as well as the other mics.

I am a Writer and an occasional Math Teacher (Sir, what's the occasion?). I like to sing, having no instrumental talent (cannot even clap in time, and yes, I'm aware singing badly IS obnoxious). 

I have performed the finale to Les Miserables before an audience of 500. I have also sung before a similar audience (students, parents) renditions of 'I Will' (Beatles), 'Mr Cairo' (Jon Vangelis) and 'I am Australian' (Seekers). Now I seek another profession because the audience hates me ..

Ignore my politics, the media does