These jokes are of an unknown origin. Feel free to submit corrections or add to the list. I will edit when possible, to improve the flow and correct errors.

Saturday, June 04, 2005

From Lady Catreece

I have a few that are funny, but most of them were told by my grandpa and I do not remember all of the joke, and he is too old to remember them as well.

However, a couple that are cute are gaming jokes and can be found at

What's the difference between a Sartar wedding and a Sartar wake?
One less drinker.

By Greg Stafford

Knock knock.
Who's there?
A Sartar burglar.

By Greg Stafford

A guy walks into a bar and says,
"Hey buddy, I have a couple of really funny Sartar jokes here!"
The bar tender leans over and says,
"Listen, if I were you I'd watch your tongue. Those two big guys with horns on their helmets over there are Sartarites. I'm no midget and I'm Sartarite, and every man in here is Sartarite."
"Oh, Okay," says the guy, "I'll talk v-e-r-y s-l-o-w-l-y."

By Greg Stafford

How do you know when your house has been burgled by a Sartarite?
The garbage's been eaten and the dog is pregnant.

By Greg Stafford

Two priests were discussing the decline of morals in the world today.
"I didn't sleep with my wife before I was married," said one, "Did you?"
"I don't know," he said, "What was her maiden name?"

By Greg Stafford

What do you call 10,000 Lunars at the bottom of the ocean?
A good start.

By Greg Stafford

"I met a new girl at a feast the other day, very pretty, a blond I think. I don't know, her hair was on fire, and all she talked about was herself. You know these kind of girls: 'I'm hot. I'm on fire. Me, me, me.' You know. 'Help me, put me out.' Come on, could we talk about me just a little bit?"

By Greg Stafford

The local law enforcer was looking for a deputy, so Gomer - who was not exactly the sharpest nail in the bucket went in to try out for the job.
"Okay," the sheriff drawled, "Gomer, what is 1 and 1?"
"11" he replied.
The sheriff thought to himself, "That's not what I meant, but he's right."
"What two days of the week start with the letter 'T'?"
"Today and tomorrow."
He was again surprised that Gomer supplied a correct answer that he had never thought of himself.
"Now Gomer, listen carefully: Who killed Yelm?"
Gomer looked a little surprised himself, then thought really hard for a minute and finally admitted, "I don't know."
"Well, why don't you go home and work on that one for a while?"
So, Gomer wandered over to the tavern where his pals were waiting to hear the results of the interview.
Gomer was exultant. "It went great! First day on the job and I'm already working on a murder case!"

By Greg Stafford

A Lhankor Mhy devotee, an Orlanth Adventurous devotee and an Uroxi devotee walk into the local tavern. All three sit down and order horns of mead. As they discuss the day events the tavern keep brings each a horn overflowing with fine mead.

The Lhankor Mhy sage looks down and notes a fly swimming in his mead. "What sort of feculant establishment are you running here!", he shouts. He begins to quote the law of Heort and the punishments for transgressions of hospitality and the connection between the fly and Malia of the unholy trio. The tavern keeper quickly pours out his mead and brings him another horn with abject apologies.

The Orlanthi then looks down at his horn of mead and also notes a fly floundering about in his mead. He looks at the fly for a moment, grasps the horn and says, "Force is always an option!" and gulps down the entire horn fly and all.

Lastly the Uroxi warrior looks down and also sees a large black fly swimming in his mead. He carefully takes the horn from the bar and shakes off his leather and bronze gauntlet. With the bare hand he carefully reaches into the horn of mead and gently grasps the fly by the wings. He then lifts the fly so that it is just above the mead horn and slowly brings the horn and the fly close to his lips and with an earth shaking bellow roars, "Spit it out you bastard!!"

Sent by RafandCarla

What do you call 3 Humakti standing in the middle of the road with their swords drawn?
An ambush.

Sent by Mike Dawson

About Me

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I'm author of History in a Year by the Conservative Voice aka History of the World in a Year by the Conservative Voice.

I'm the Conservative Voice. 

I'm looking to make contact with those who might use my skill. 

I have an m-audio mobile pre amp fed by the audiotechnica 2041sp condensor mic pack. Prior to 15/4/06, I'd used a Shure sm-58 that required a nuclear blast to register a sound or the internal mic of my aged imac, which has a penchance to recording my breathing. I also used a Griffin itrip, until the community convinced me it was not hiding my talent as well as the other mics.

I am a Writer and an occasional Math Teacher (Sir, what's the occasion?). I like to sing, having no instrumental talent (cannot even clap in time, and yes, I'm aware singing badly IS obnoxious). 

I have performed the finale to Les Miserables before an audience of 500. I have also sung before a similar audience (students, parents) renditions of 'I Will' (Beatles), 'Mr Cairo' (Jon Vangelis) and 'I am Australian' (Seekers). Now I seek another profession because the audience hates me ..

Ignore my politics, the media does 

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