9 DAY TOUR
DAY 1 -
Meet your new travel-mates in our hotel in Beautiful Emu Plains. At night you have the chance to score your own crack in Cabramatta.
DAY 2 -
After breakfast we will get mugged in Minto before having lunch at Blacktown KFC. Tonight why not participate in a riot at Macquarie Fields!
DAY 3 -
Today is your choice! You have the option of fishing in Blacktown Creek or taking a day-trip to the Kings Cross Heroin Injecting Room. Tonight we experience a cabaret show at Rooty Hill RSL, "The Vegas of the West".
DAY 4 -
After seeing the real bullet holes in the walls of Granville Police Station, we will get car-jacked in Sefton before being an accomplice in a stolen WRX and ram-raiding a cigarette store in Fairfield.
DAY 5 -
Today we will get the shit bashed out of us in downtown Punchbowl by a gang of 30 or 40. We will have lunch at Auburn Macca´s before an afternoon swim in the Parramatta River. Tonight is party night as we head up the coast to Gosford's classy Club Troppo.
DAY 6 -
An early start today as we witness a convenience store hold-up in Blackett. We then have an opportunity to get knifed in Bonnyrigg. Tonight we get caught up in a riot at a Canterbury Bulldogs game.
DAY 7 -
This morning is another early start as Silverwater Prison is the backdrop to our group photo (optional). We then take part in a shoot-up at picturesque Lakemba. Tonight is an included dinner in the Bistro at Blacktown RSL.
DAY 8 -
Today is a free day to explore the beautiful suburb of Mt. Druitt at your leisure.
DAY 9 -
Today we explore Villawood Detention Centre. In the afternoon why not take part in a guided tour down Everleigh St, Redfern. In the evening a chance to farewell your new friends at the end of tour dinner at Krispy Kreme Penrith.
9 days travelling in the comfort of a Ford Escort with bullet-proof windows and sub-woofer.
6 nights accommodation in F1 Hotels. 3 nights in Best Western Hotels.
Day song - "I shot the Sheriff". Wake-up song - "Gangster's Paradise".
Driver - Wazza. Tour Leader - Mustafa.
Only $199 plus food fund. (Personal Injury insurance of $4000 not included)
These jokes are of an unknown origin. Feel free to submit corrections or add to the list. I will edit when possible, to improve the flow and correct errors.
- I'm author of History in a Year by the Conservative Voice aka History of the World in a Year by the Conservative Voice.I'm the Conservative Voice.I'm looking to make contact with those who might use my skill.
I have an m-audio mobile pre amp fed by the audiotechnica 2041sp condensor mic pack. Prior to 15/4/06, I'd used a Shure sm-58 that required a nuclear blast to register a sound or the internal mic of my aged imac, which has a penchance to recording my breathing. I also used a Griffin itrip, until the community convinced me it was not hiding my talent as well as the other mics.
I am a Writer and an occasional Math Teacher (Sir, what's the occasion?). I like to sing, having no instrumental talent (cannot even clap in time, and yes, I'm aware singing badly IS obnoxious).
I have performed the finale to Les Miserables before an audience of 500. I have also sung before a similar audience (students, parents) renditions of 'I Will' (Beatles), 'Mr Cairo' (Jon Vangelis) and 'I am Australian' (Seekers). Now I seek another profession because the audience hates me ..
Ignore my politics, the media does
- ► 2009 (53)
- ► 2008 (13)
- ▼ October (17)