Translator

These jokes are of an unknown origin. Feel free to submit corrections or add to the list. I will edit when possible, to improve the flow and correct errors.

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Kids books for Christmas

So with Xmas coming, the parents among you will be looking for the right combination of presents to buy. But boy, can it be hard. So, I've done extensive research, so far as you know, to bring you the definitive list of books no child should be without:
1. You Were an Accident
2. Strangers Have the Best Sweeties
3. Some Kittens Can Fly!
4. Kathy Was So Bad Her Mum Stopped Loving Her
5. All Dogs Go to Hell
6. The Kids' Guide to Hitchhiking
7. You Are Different and That's Bad
8. Pop! Goes the Hamster....and Other Great Microwave Games
9. Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence
10. The Boy Who Died from Eating All His Vegetables
11. The Pop-up Book of Human Anatomy
12. Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia
13. What Is That Dog Doing to That Other Dog?
14. Why Can't Mr. Fork and Ms. Electrical Outlet Be Friends?
15. Daddy Drinks Because You Cry

About Me

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I'm author of History in a Year by the Conservative Voice aka History of the World in a Year by the Conservative Voice.

I'm the Conservative Voice. 

I'm looking to make contact with those who might use my skill. 

I have an m-audio mobile pre amp fed by the audiotechnica 2041sp condensor mic pack. Prior to 15/4/06, I'd used a Shure sm-58 that required a nuclear blast to register a sound or the internal mic of my aged imac, which has a penchance to recording my breathing. I also used a Griffin itrip, until the community convinced me it was not hiding my talent as well as the other mics.

I am a Writer and an occasional Math Teacher (Sir, what's the occasion?). I like to sing, having no instrumental talent (cannot even clap in time, and yes, I'm aware singing badly IS obnoxious). 

I have performed the finale to Les Miserables before an audience of 500. I have also sung before a similar audience (students, parents) renditions of 'I Will' (Beatles), 'Mr Cairo' (Jon Vangelis) and 'I am Australian' (Seekers). Now I seek another profession because the audience hates me ..

Ignore my politics, the media does 

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