Translator

These jokes are of an unknown origin. Feel free to submit corrections or add to the list. I will edit when possible, to improve the flow and correct errors.

Monday, November 16, 2009

Prescription

A nice, calm and respectable woman went into a pharmacy, looked the chemist straight in his eyes & said, 'I would like to buy some Cyanide.'

The chemist asked, 'Why in the world do you need Cyanide?'

The woman replied, 'I need it to poison my husband.'

The chemist's eyes got big and he exclaimed, 'Lord, have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband! That's against the law! My license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen! No! You CANNOT have any Cyanide!'

The woman reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the chemist's wife.

The chemist looked at the picture and replied, 'Oh, you didn't tell me you had a prescription.'

About Me

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I'm author of History in a Year by the Conservative Voice aka History of the World in a Year by the Conservative Voice.

I'm the Conservative Voice. 

I'm looking to make contact with those who might use my skill. 

I have an m-audio mobile pre amp fed by the audiotechnica 2041sp condensor mic pack. Prior to 15/4/06, I'd used a Shure sm-58 that required a nuclear blast to register a sound or the internal mic of my aged imac, which has a penchance to recording my breathing. I also used a Griffin itrip, until the community convinced me it was not hiding my talent as well as the other mics.

I am a Writer and an occasional Math Teacher (Sir, what's the occasion?). I like to sing, having no instrumental talent (cannot even clap in time, and yes, I'm aware singing badly IS obnoxious). 

I have performed the finale to Les Miserables before an audience of 500. I have also sung before a similar audience (students, parents) renditions of 'I Will' (Beatles), 'Mr Cairo' (Jon Vangelis) and 'I am Australian' (Seekers). Now I seek another profession because the audience hates me ..

Ignore my politics, the media does