Translator

These jokes are of an unknown origin. Feel free to submit corrections or add to the list. I will edit when possible, to improve the flow and correct errors.

Tuesday, November 03, 2009

Three Contractors

Three contractors find themselves arriving at the pearly gates at the same time.
St. Peter greets them and tells them that the pearly gates are broken and in need of repair.
He asks them each for estimates so god may choose a contractor.
The first contractor, Tyrone Johnson, examines the gates and announces an estimate of 300 dollars.
St.Peter asks for an explanation.
He is told 100 dollars for materials, 100 dollars for labor and 100 dollars for profit.
The second contractor, Hiram Berganstein, examines the gates and announces an estimate of 900 dollars.
St. Peter asks again and is told 300 dollars for materials, 300 dollars for labor and 300 dollars for profit.
The third contractor, Tony Carduchi, takes a look at the gates and announces an estimate of 2300 dollars.
St. Peter is taken back and asks Tony why such an high price.
Tony takes St. Peter aside and whispers "one thousand for me, one thousand for you, and we get Tyrone to do it for 300 dollars!".

About Me

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I'm author of History in a Year by the Conservative Voice aka History of the World in a Year by the Conservative Voice.

I'm the Conservative Voice. 

I'm looking to make contact with those who might use my skill. 

I have an m-audio mobile pre amp fed by the audiotechnica 2041sp condensor mic pack. Prior to 15/4/06, I'd used a Shure sm-58 that required a nuclear blast to register a sound or the internal mic of my aged imac, which has a penchance to recording my breathing. I also used a Griffin itrip, until the community convinced me it was not hiding my talent as well as the other mics.

I am a Writer and an occasional Math Teacher (Sir, what's the occasion?). I like to sing, having no instrumental talent (cannot even clap in time, and yes, I'm aware singing badly IS obnoxious). 

I have performed the finale to Les Miserables before an audience of 500. I have also sung before a similar audience (students, parents) renditions of 'I Will' (Beatles), 'Mr Cairo' (Jon Vangelis) and 'I am Australian' (Seekers). Now I seek another profession because the audience hates me ..

Ignore my politics, the media does