It's bitterly cold outside the shul. Inside, Rabbi Bloom is getting fed up with the constant coughing that's disturbing his sermon, so after the service ends, he goes over to old Hyman the shammes and tells him that he needs his help to solve the problem.
Rabbi Bloom tells Hyman to have a large bowl of cough drops ready in shul for his next sermon and instructs him to give one cough drop to any shul member who begins coughing.
So next shabbes, during the rabbi's sermon and following orders, every time a member coughs, Hyman walks over and hands out a cough drop. Rabbi Bloom watches this out of the corner of his eye and notices that each time Hyman does this; the member immediately gets up and walks out of the shul.
At the end of the service, half the members are gone, so Rabbi Bloom goes over to Hyman and asks, "Nu, Hyman? So what did you say to the members that made them leave the shul?"
Hyman replies, "So vat did I say? All that I said wuz, 'the Rabbi said far cough'."
Translator
These jokes are of an unknown origin. Feel free to submit corrections or add to the list. I will edit when possible, to improve the flow and correct errors.
