Translator

These jokes are of an unknown origin. Feel free to submit corrections or add to the list. I will edit when possible, to improve the flow and correct errors.

Thursday, June 17, 2004

THE OFFICIAL SEX QUIZ

Study each question carefully. Then choose the answer that seems
more correct, True or False.
1. A clitoris is a type of flower.
2. A pubic hair is a wild rabbit.
3. "Spread-eagle" is an extinct bird.
4. Vagina is a medical term used to describe heart trouble.
5. A menstrual cycle has three (3) wheels.
6. A g-string is part of a violin.
7. Semen is another word for "sailors."
8. Anus is the Latin word for "yearly."
9. Testicles are found on an octopus.
10. Asphalt describes rectal troubles.
11. KOTEX is a radio station in Bryan, Texas.
12. Masturbate is used to catch large fish.
13. Coitus is a musical instrument.
14. Fetus is a character on "Gunsmoke."
15. An umbilical cord is part of a parachute.
16. A condom is an apartment complex.
17. An orgasm is the person who accompanies the choir in church.
18. A diaphragm is a drawing in geometry.
19. A dildo is a variety of sweet pickles.
20. An erection is when Japanese vote for their new government officials.
21. A lesbian is a person from the Middle East.
22. Sodomy is a special kind of fast-growing grass.
23. Pornography is the business of making record albums.
24. Genitals are people of non-Jewish origins.
25. Douche is the Italian word for "twelve."
26. An enema is someone who is not your friend.
27. Ovaries are a French egg dish made with cheese.
28. Scrotum is a small planet near Uranus.
29. A vulva is an automobile from Sweden.
30. A Fallopian Tube is a part of a television set.
31. Fellatio refers to an Italian dagger.
32. Cunnilingus refers to someone who can speak foreign languages.
33. Phallus was a city on the Nile.
34. VD is an American holiday celebrated on November 11.
35. Herpes was a Greek god.
36. A homosexual is a technician who purifies milk.
37. The ben-wa ball is held every year in Tokyo on June 1.

About Me

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I'm author of History in a Year by the Conservative Voice aka History of the World in a Year by the Conservative Voice.

I'm the Conservative Voice. 

I'm looking to make contact with those who might use my skill. 

I have an m-audio mobile pre amp fed by the audiotechnica 2041sp condensor mic pack. Prior to 15/4/06, I'd used a Shure sm-58 that required a nuclear blast to register a sound or the internal mic of my aged imac, which has a penchance to recording my breathing. I also used a Griffin itrip, until the community convinced me it was not hiding my talent as well as the other mics.

I am a Writer and an occasional Math Teacher (Sir, what's the occasion?). I like to sing, having no instrumental talent (cannot even clap in time, and yes, I'm aware singing badly IS obnoxious). 

I have performed the finale to Les Miserables before an audience of 500. I have also sung before a similar audience (students, parents) renditions of 'I Will' (Beatles), 'Mr Cairo' (Jon Vangelis) and 'I am Australian' (Seekers). Now I seek another profession because the audience hates me ..

Ignore my politics, the media does 

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