Translator

These jokes are of an unknown origin. Feel free to submit corrections or add to the list. I will edit when possible, to improve the flow and correct errors.

Wednesday, May 12, 2004

Computer Business Retreat

Sam has been in the computer business for 25 years and is finally
sick of the stress. He quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in
Vermont as far from humanity as possible.

Sam sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month.
Otherwise it's total peace and quiet. After six months or so of
almost total isolation, he's finishing dinner when someone knocks on
his door. He opens it and there is a big, bearded Vermonter standing
there.

"Names Enoch... Your neighbor from four miles over the ridge...
Having a party Saturday... thought you'd like to come."

"Great," says Sam, "after six months of this I'm ready to meet some
local folks. Thank you."

As Enoch is leaving he stops, "Gotta warn you there's gonna be some
drinkin'."

"Not a problem... after 25 years in the computer business, I can
drink with the best of 'em."

Again, as he starts to leave Enoch stops. "More 'n' likely gonna be
some fightin' too."

Damn, Sam thinks... tough crowd. "Well, I get along with people.
I'll be there. Thanks again."

Once again Enoch turns from the door. "I've seen some wild sex at
these parties, too."

"Now that's not a problem" says Sam, "Remember I've been alone for
six months! I'll definitely be there ... by the way, what should
I wear?

Enoch stops in the door again and says, "Whatever you want, just
gonna be the two of us."

About Me

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I'm author of History in a Year by the Conservative Voice aka History of the World in a Year by the Conservative Voice.

I'm the Conservative Voice. 

I'm looking to make contact with those who might use my skill. 

I have an m-audio mobile pre amp fed by the audiotechnica 2041sp condensor mic pack. Prior to 15/4/06, I'd used a Shure sm-58 that required a nuclear blast to register a sound or the internal mic of my aged imac, which has a penchance to recording my breathing. I also used a Griffin itrip, until the community convinced me it was not hiding my talent as well as the other mics.

I am a Writer and an occasional Math Teacher (Sir, what's the occasion?). I like to sing, having no instrumental talent (cannot even clap in time, and yes, I'm aware singing badly IS obnoxious). 

I have performed the finale to Les Miserables before an audience of 500. I have also sung before a similar audience (students, parents) renditions of 'I Will' (Beatles), 'Mr Cairo' (Jon Vangelis) and 'I am Australian' (Seekers). Now I seek another profession because the audience hates me ..

Ignore my politics, the media does 

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