10. I need to whip it out by 5!
9. Mind if I use your laptop?
8. Put it in my box before I leave.
7. If I have to lick one more, I'll gag!
6. I want it on my desk, NOW!
5. HMMMMMMMMMMMM........ I think it's out of fluid.
4. My equipment is so old it takes forever to finish.
3. It's an entry-level position.
2. When do you think you'll be getting off today?
AND NUMBER 1 THING THAT SOUNDS DIRTY AT THE OFFICE BUT ISN'T:
1. It's not fair... I do all the work while he just sits there.
These jokes are of an unknown origin. Feel free to submit corrections or add to the list. I will edit when possible, to improve the flow and correct errors.
- I'm author of History in a Year by the Conservative Voice aka History of the World in a Year by the Conservative Voice.I'm the Conservative Voice.I'm looking to make contact with those who might use my skill.
I have an m-audio mobile pre amp fed by the audiotechnica 2041sp condensor mic pack. Prior to 15/4/06, I'd used a Shure sm-58 that required a nuclear blast to register a sound or the internal mic of my aged imac, which has a penchance to recording my breathing. I also used a Griffin itrip, until the community convinced me it was not hiding my talent as well as the other mics.
I am a Writer and an occasional Math Teacher (Sir, what's the occasion?). I like to sing, having no instrumental talent (cannot even clap in time, and yes, I'm aware singing badly IS obnoxious).
I have performed the finale to Les Miserables before an audience of 500. I have also sung before a similar audience (students, parents) renditions of 'I Will' (Beatles), 'Mr Cairo' (Jon Vangelis) and 'I am Australian' (Seekers). Now I seek another profession because the audience hates me ..
Ignore my politics, the media does
- ► 2009 (53)
- ► 2008 (13)
- ► 2005 (82)
- A seminar for the Economically Challenged
- Jesus at The Pearly Gates.
- CHINESE PROVERBS
- Sheer Luck Holmes
- Ever been accused of not knowing Jack Schitt.
- What if 3 Wise Men were Women?
- Useful Expressions for those HIGH STRESS days
- THE 10 TOP THINGS YOU WISH YOU COULD SAY AT WORK
- News from Heaven
- Architect Like Programmer
- The things you NEED to know.
- How to Impress
- Ethnicity of Jesus
- MANAGEMENT LESSONS
- The Bonus Question
- CONSUMER PRODUCT LABELLING
- Burn's Hog Weighing Method:
- One Liners
- If Operating Systems Were Beers...
- Last Things Said
- ENGINEER IDENTIFICATION TEST
- The Value of Time
- Why We Are All Proud To Be Australian Citizens!!
- Whose Job Is It?
- Medical Terms
- Employer's Lingo
- World's Easiest Quiz
- Jewish Buddhism.
- Deep Thoughts Jack Handey
- CHURCH NOTICES
- YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF . . .
- A Canonical List of Nun Jokes
- Alphabetised B to D of some sayings
- Making Fun of
- From the Classifieds or Headlines
- Elephant Jokes
- More Elephant Jokes
- One Small Step for a Man
- Pachydermic Personel Prediction
- Hearing Test
- TOP TEN THINGS THAT SOUND DIRTY AT THE OFFICE, BUT...
- Men Who Use Computers Are The New Sex Symbols Of T...
- Computer Business Retreat
- You Know You are Addicted to Internet When .....
- YOU KNOW YOU'RE TOO SERIOUS ABOUT COMPUTERS
- Top 50 Things to do in an elevator
- The Graduate
- Blonde Joke
- Strange Sex Laws
- DILBERT'S THEOREM ON SALARY
- The F Word
- ▼ May (53)