Translator

These jokes are of an unknown origin. Feel free to submit corrections or add to the list. I will edit when possible, to improve the flow and correct errors.

Thursday, May 13, 2004

Making Fun of

Making fun of New Age:

"Visualize Whirled Peas"
"Visualize ... Using Your Turn Signal"

Politics/ other-party-bashing:

"Impeach the Clintons"
"Friends Don't Let Friends Vote Republican"
"Vote Republican -- It's Easier Than Thinking"

Miscellaneous:

"Eat Well, Stay Fit, Die Anyway"
"Husbands Are Proof That Women Have a Sense of Humor"
"Forget the Whales. Save the Cowboy"
"I'm From the Government. I'm Here to Help You."
"Old Skiers Never Die. They Just Go Downhill.

"Money Isn't Everything, but It Sure Keeps the Kids in Touch"
"My Mother Was a Travel Agent for Guilt Trips"
"If You Love Jesus Tithe -- Any Fool Can Honk"
"Black Holes Suck"
"This Vehicle Swerves and Hits Pedestrians at Random"

About Me

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I'm author of History in a Year by the Conservative Voice aka History of the World in a Year by the Conservative Voice.

I'm the Conservative Voice. 

I'm looking to make contact with those who might use my skill. 

I have an m-audio mobile pre amp fed by the audiotechnica 2041sp condensor mic pack. Prior to 15/4/06, I'd used a Shure sm-58 that required a nuclear blast to register a sound or the internal mic of my aged imac, which has a penchance to recording my breathing. I also used a Griffin itrip, until the community convinced me it was not hiding my talent as well as the other mics.

I am a Writer and an occasional Math Teacher (Sir, what's the occasion?). I like to sing, having no instrumental talent (cannot even clap in time, and yes, I'm aware singing badly IS obnoxious). 

I have performed the finale to Les Miserables before an audience of 500. I have also sung before a similar audience (students, parents) renditions of 'I Will' (Beatles), 'Mr Cairo' (Jon Vangelis) and 'I am Australian' (Seekers). Now I seek another profession because the audience hates me ..

Ignore my politics, the media does 

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