Translator

These jokes are of an unknown origin. Feel free to submit corrections or add to the list. I will edit when possible, to improve the flow and correct errors.

Sunday, May 23, 2004

Jesus at The Pearly Gates.

Jesus was standing in for St Peter at the Pearly Gates when an old man shuffles up. Jesus goes through the standard entry procedures:

"Name?" says Jesus.
"Joseph" says the old man.

"Occupation?" asks Jesus
"Carpenter" replied the old man.

"Family - Any children?" continues Jesus.
"I once had a son" answers the man.

"Describe him" says Jesus
"Well", said the old man, "He was a bit strange and childlike - and he had nails in his hands and feet".

Jesus looked closely at the old man who peered back at Jesus and asked: "Pinnochio?"

About Me

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I'm author of History in a Year by the Conservative Voice aka History of the World in a Year by the Conservative Voice.

I'm the Conservative Voice. 

I'm looking to make contact with those who might use my skill. 

I have an m-audio mobile pre amp fed by the audiotechnica 2041sp condensor mic pack. Prior to 15/4/06, I'd used a Shure sm-58 that required a nuclear blast to register a sound or the internal mic of my aged imac, which has a penchance to recording my breathing. I also used a Griffin itrip, until the community convinced me it was not hiding my talent as well as the other mics.

I am a Writer and an occasional Math Teacher (Sir, what's the occasion?). I like to sing, having no instrumental talent (cannot even clap in time, and yes, I'm aware singing badly IS obnoxious). 

I have performed the finale to Les Miserables before an audience of 500. I have also sung before a similar audience (students, parents) renditions of 'I Will' (Beatles), 'Mr Cairo' (Jon Vangelis) and 'I am Australian' (Seekers). Now I seek another profession because the audience hates me ..

Ignore my politics, the media does 

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