We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.
"JOIN OUR FAST-PACED TEAM"
We have no time to train you.
"CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE"
We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up; well,
a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.
"MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED"
You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.
"SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED"
Some time each night and some time each weekend.
"DUTIES WILL VARY"
Anyone in the office can boss you around.
"MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL"
We have no quality control.
Female Applicants must be childless (and remain that way).
"APPLY IN PERSON"
If you're old, fat or ugly you'll be told the position has been filled.
"NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE"
We've filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality.
"SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE"
You'll need it to replace three people who just left.
"PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST"
You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.
"REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS"
You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.
"GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS"
Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do it.
These jokes are of an unknown origin. Feel free to submit corrections or add to the list. I will edit when possible, to improve the flow and correct errors.
- I'm author of History in a Year by the Conservative Voice aka History of the World in a Year by the Conservative Voice.I'm the Conservative Voice.I'm looking to make contact with those who might use my skill.
I have an m-audio mobile pre amp fed by the audiotechnica 2041sp condensor mic pack. Prior to 15/4/06, I'd used a Shure sm-58 that required a nuclear blast to register a sound or the internal mic of my aged imac, which has a penchance to recording my breathing. I also used a Griffin itrip, until the community convinced me it was not hiding my talent as well as the other mics.
I am a Writer and an occasional Math Teacher (Sir, what's the occasion?). I like to sing, having no instrumental talent (cannot even clap in time, and yes, I'm aware singing badly IS obnoxious).
I have performed the finale to Les Miserables before an audience of 500. I have also sung before a similar audience (students, parents) renditions of 'I Will' (Beatles), 'Mr Cairo' (Jon Vangelis) and 'I am Australian' (Seekers). Now I seek another profession because the audience hates me ..
Ignore my politics, the media does
- ► 2009 (53)
- ► 2008 (13)
- ► 2005 (82)
- A seminar for the Economically Challenged
- Jesus at The Pearly Gates.
- CHINESE PROVERBS
- Sheer Luck Holmes
- Ever been accused of not knowing Jack Schitt.
- What if 3 Wise Men were Women?
- Useful Expressions for those HIGH STRESS days
- THE 10 TOP THINGS YOU WISH YOU COULD SAY AT WORK
- News from Heaven
- Architect Like Programmer
- The things you NEED to know.
- How to Impress
- Ethnicity of Jesus
- MANAGEMENT LESSONS
- The Bonus Question
- CONSUMER PRODUCT LABELLING
- Burn's Hog Weighing Method:
- One Liners
- If Operating Systems Were Beers...
- Last Things Said
- ENGINEER IDENTIFICATION TEST
- The Value of Time
- Why We Are All Proud To Be Australian Citizens!!
- Whose Job Is It?
- Medical Terms
- Employer's Lingo
- World's Easiest Quiz
- Jewish Buddhism.
- Deep Thoughts Jack Handey
- CHURCH NOTICES
- YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF . . .
- A Canonical List of Nun Jokes
- Alphabetised B to D of some sayings
- Making Fun of
- From the Classifieds or Headlines
- Elephant Jokes
- More Elephant Jokes
- One Small Step for a Man
- Pachydermic Personel Prediction
- Hearing Test
- TOP TEN THINGS THAT SOUND DIRTY AT THE OFFICE, BUT...
- Men Who Use Computers Are The New Sex Symbols Of T...
- Computer Business Retreat
- You Know You are Addicted to Internet When .....
- YOU KNOW YOU'RE TOO SERIOUS ABOUT COMPUTERS
- Top 50 Things to do in an elevator
- The Graduate
- Blonde Joke
- Strange Sex Laws
- DILBERT'S THEOREM ON SALARY
- The F Word
- ▼ May (53)