Translator

These jokes are of an unknown origin. Feel free to submit corrections or add to the list. I will edit when possible, to improve the flow and correct errors.

Saturday, May 15, 2004

Last Things Said

The Last Things Any Man Would Ever Say:
10) I think Barry Manilow is one cool motherfucker.
9) While I'm up, can I get you a beer?
8) I think hairy butts are really sexy.
7) Her tits are just too big.
6) Sometimes I just want to be held.
5) That chick on Murder She Wrote gives me a woody.
4) Sure I'd love to wear a condom.
3) We haven't been to the mall for ages, let's go shopping and I
can hold your purse.
2) Fuck Monday Night Football, let's watch Murphy Brown.
1) I think we are lost, we better pull over ands ask for directions.

THE LAST THINGS ANY WOMAN WOULD EVER SAY:
10) Could our relationship be more physical?I'm tired of just being friends.
9) Go ahead and leave the seat up, it's easier for me to douche that way.
8) I think hairy butts are really sexy.
7) Hey, get a whiff of that one.
6) Please don't throw that old T-shirt away,the holes in the armpit are just too cute.
5) This diamond is way too big!
4) I won't even put my lips on that thing unless I get to swallow.
3) Wow, it really is 14 inches!
2) Does this make my butt look too small?
1) I'm wrong, you must be right again.

About Me

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I'm author of History in a Year by the Conservative Voice aka History of the World in a Year by the Conservative Voice.

I'm the Conservative Voice. 

I'm looking to make contact with those who might use my skill. 

I have an m-audio mobile pre amp fed by the audiotechnica 2041sp condensor mic pack. Prior to 15/4/06, I'd used a Shure sm-58 that required a nuclear blast to register a sound or the internal mic of my aged imac, which has a penchance to recording my breathing. I also used a Griffin itrip, until the community convinced me it was not hiding my talent as well as the other mics.

I am a Writer and an occasional Math Teacher (Sir, what's the occasion?). I like to sing, having no instrumental talent (cannot even clap in time, and yes, I'm aware singing badly IS obnoxious). 

I have performed the finale to Les Miserables before an audience of 500. I have also sung before a similar audience (students, parents) renditions of 'I Will' (Beatles), 'Mr Cairo' (Jon Vangelis) and 'I am Australian' (Seekers). Now I seek another profession because the audience hates me ..

Ignore my politics, the media does 

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